The new parish priest was very nervous for his first mass and could hardly speak.
Archbishop then asked how he could do to relax and they suggested to put a little vodka in the water of the mass. So he did. It felt so good he could do a sermon in the midst of a storm! But when he returned to the rectory, he found the following letter from Archbishop:
- next time put a bit 'of vodka in the water and not vice versa, and is not benemettere lemon and sugar on the rim of the glass. The sleeve
- the habit should not be used as a napkin.
- There are 10 commandments, not 12.
- There are 12 disciples, not 10.
- The seven deadly sins are not 'sins of the inhabitants of Rome'.
- We refer to the cross as 'the big wooden T'.
- There refers to Jesus Christ and his disciples as 'JC and his band'.
- There refers to Judas as 'son of a bitch'.
- The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are not 'the Elder, Junior and the ghost'.
- The toilet where she peed in the mid Mass was in fact the confessional ... and not nice to complain because they did not put the toilet.
- The initiative to call the audience to clap was laudable, but the train seems to be excessive.
- The holy water used to bless and do not sweat to cool his head.
- The Hosts are distributed to the faithful who receive communion should not be regarded as some fries as appetizers accompanied by the vin santo.
- one on the cross, even if it looks like Che Guevara, but he was not our Lord Jesus Christ.
- Try to wear the pants, and when it avoids hot to get up the habit.
- Sinners could go to hell when they die, not 'fucked up'.
- The Mass should last 1 hour and not about two halves of 45 minutes, and what turned dressed in black is the sexton, not 'that cornutodell'arbitro'.
- What she was sitting next to was me, your Archbishop, not '... a fag in red skirt'.
- The final formula is correct 'the Mass is ended, go in peace' and not 'what a headache, go all the fuck out'.
For the rest, I think everything was fine.
Archbishop
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